Society already has these ill-prepared, mapped out steps for you because of the race you identify with. If you're a black woman who has ever dated a different race, you probably stumbled across one – or maybe more – of these erratic fears along the way. But when you consider the fact that you're dating a different race as a black woman, it delves a little deeper into the historically painful days of discrimination.
Every day you're being judged, even when you don't think you are.
But to be analyzed under a microscope for your relationship can be pretty overbearing. Because stupid things like these still linger in people's minds, black women are hesitant to date other races.
Fear of being ostracized by those very same men or fetishized by their white counterparts. I grew up surrounded by handsome black men who were strong-minded, hard-working, upwardly mobile and worldly. At a home, it was understood that if Billy Dee Williams — not Paul Newman, not Richard Gere — should ever knock on our door, my mother was leaving with him. Still, as a rule, good Southern black women do not dishonor their communities or betray their history by willingly sleeping with white men. The same grace that is extended to black men who date white women is not as easily extended to black women who do the same.What can be even more disheartening than seeing your beautiful, professional, well-educated sisterfriend still unattached is seeing a successful Black man settle down with someone of another ethnic group.The immediate thought for many is, With all the gorgeous, accomplished Black women available, why didn't he choose one of us?And, then there are the unspoken questions once inherent in any semi-intimate interaction with a white guy: Do you want to date me as a way to stick it to grandma?Will my “ Richard Tanne’s film “Southside with You” tells the story of Barack and Michelle Obama’s first date.So it's no wonder we're thrilled for Black women who have found love—no matter the ethnicity of their partner.